Name: Erma Ellen COFFEY

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Birth: 20 Jan 1911

Died: 21 Nov 2007

Father: Newton COFFEY (1875-1969)

Mother: Adelia Gertrude ROBINSON (1878-1973)

From Coffey Family stories and notes, compiled by Lynda Clare for 2005 Coffey Reunion:

Erma went to high school at Garden Grove, then to Bible School in Minneapolis with the hope of becoming a missionary. Erma became sick and could not finish Bible school. After spending some time at home, Erma went to Kansas City, where she got her nurse’s training, and met her husband, Ed.

Ed and Erma married on July 5, 1947. Their son, Earl, was born in 1948.

In 1971, when Ed’s sister, Peggy, passed away, he and Erma (now age 60) inherited her 5 teenagers.

Erma lived in Mansfield, Massachusetts for near 60 years, until Ed passed away on June 24, 2004. Erma then moved to her son’s house in the next town over, Norton. Erma loves the view from her new porch in Norton.

MORE STORIES:

Mother canned everything they grew on the farm: gooseberries, peaches, apples, potatoes, beans, tomatoes, peas and carrots, among many other things!

All the canned food was stored in the cellar. They kept their meat in the smoke house since they had no refrigerators back then. The Coffeys always butchered their own cows, pigs and chickens. It would be many years before Erma would buy her meat in a store. To keep the pork from spoiling, mother would put it in half-gallon jars and cover it with lard. One of Erma’s favorite meals was pieces of beef put in a jar in the oven… Yummy, yum!

We already mentioned Erma’s least favorite chore: milking cows. The Coffeys had thirty cows that needed to be milked twice a day. After the cows were milked the girls would separate the milk from the cream. They would feed the milk to the pigs, and the cream they would sell in town or churn into butter if they needed it. After they churned the butter, they would put it into a waterproof container and hang it in the cistern to keep it cool.

Autumn was the busiest time for milking cows. Erma and her sister, Carol, had to milk all thirty cows every morning and evening, all by themselves during threshing season.

When the grain was ready to harvest in the fall, the men would go out into the fields and cut it down, piling the hay into stacks. Then they would bring it to the barn for threshing. The threshing machine would separate the grain from the chaff.

Then they would fill the silo with grain. All the men in the neighborhood would work together from dawn to dusk. Each neighbor’s crop took only two or three days, then all the men would move on to the next farm.

Each day of threshing season, the women in the neighborhood would work together to make a lunch big enough to feed all the men. And so went life on the farm from August into November.

Collecting the eggs from the hen house didn’t take nearly as long as did milking the cows. But the pail of eggs weighed so much! One day, Erma and some of the others were collecting the eggs from the hen house. No one wanted to carry the pail of eggs, so they tried a new trick: They hung it around the dog’s neck…

Well, the dog took off running through the field and didn’t come home until a few days later… without a pail! The kids found themselves in hot water!

On Sunday mornings, mother would make breakfast and get all the kids ready and out the door for church. Father would take most of the kids to the Baptist church for the early service. By the time mother was ready for church, she had to go to a later service at the Methodist church. Erma and Raymond went with mother to the Methodist Church for two main reasons: their friends (and cousins), Harvey and Harold Holder went to that church; and secondly, they did not have to clean up after breakfast – the rest of the kids did it!

But one of Erma’s favorite times was Sunday nights…

Sunday nights, when the Coffey family returned from the evening service, father would dance around the living room playing the Jew’s harp. The whole family would watch, and some would even join Father in dancing around the house. What a fun time!

On Saturday evenings, the Coffey family would go in to town – Humeston, that is. Father would give each child ten cents. They were to save one cent for the church offering on Sunday. The kids would go to the drug store for penny candy and spend four cents on that. Fifteen minutes before time to go home, Father would go around and tell all the kids. They would all race to the drug store for a five-cent ice-cream cone. Yummy!

Rats in the silo! “I don’t know how they got in there, but, boy, they were having a feast! It was spring, so they were only eating what was left over from the winter. Father and Raymond got right inside the silo and were hitting them left and right with whatever they could get their hands on, including a hammer! I watched for a minute, but couldn’t take it for long. I had to go back to the house.” The good news: This didn’t happen every year!

But something that did happen every spring:

“Every Spring mother and the girls would chase all our geese and ducks into the barn to take off the feathers they were losing. We used them to refill our feather beds – they only lasted for so long, after all. We could chase the ducks and geese in and pull off the loose feathers and put them into a bag. It didn’t hurt them, you know, but they didn’t like it just the same. After we were done with them, we would let them go, one at a time, out the barn door. And that’s how we got the feathers for our feather beds.”

Father never lost his fun-loving spirit, not even way into his nineties. Why, it was his great sense of adventure that led him sailing down a slide at the ripe old age of 91! His doctor was furious with him - - he should know better than to play like a small child! Father explained plainly, “Well, I had never gone down a slide before and I wanted to try it!”

But with Father, there was a time to be silly and there was a time to be serious. The learning process could be painful. The two youngest children would sit on either side of Father during dinner. If Father had to remind you that dinner is a serious time, a time to practice your manners, then he would use his finger to flick you on the top of your head, just enough to sting. If you were really bad, Father would send you to the stairs where you could calm down and rethink your behavior. (Raymond got a flick on the head quite a few times!)

Bathing was quite a project when Erma was a young girl on the farm. Water was heated in a container on the side of the stove, and then used to fill the tub. After each person finished their bath, two people had to carry the tub to dump the water. In the summer, you could bathe every day (you needed it!). But in the winter you only bathed when you had to. Whenever someone went outside, they brought a bucket so they could refill the water on the stove. On the top of the stove, there was a boiler to heat water for washing clothes and such. Drinking water had to come fro the well, but the rest of the cistern (filled with rain and run-off water from the roof.) There was always a pail of drinking water in the house with a dipper in it. You would scoop water into your cup with the dipper, but you would never dip your cup directly into the water! (That would be like drinking from the carton today.)

In 1915, when Erma was only four years old, her family took a trip to California to visit Grandma and Grandpa Robinson. (On the way out, Erma got lost and gave her family a good scare!) The Coffey children had never seen indoor plumbing until now. Velma was washing her hands under the faucet, and didn’t under stand the concept of “shutting off the tap”. When she finished washing her hands, she yelled in fright, “It won’t stop, it won’t stop!”

How Erma hated using the telephone! If you rang the wrong number, everyone on the same line could hear your embarrassing mistake. The entire street shared the same line; you needed to be careful not to have a private conversation on the telephone, because anyone could listen in. If they were quiet enough, you’d never even hear them on the line. (In the Coffey household, it was absolutely forbidden to listen in on someone else’s telephone conversation.) You could pay extra for your own line, but that didn’t become common until years later.

To dial a number, you lift the receiver to your ear and turn the crank the right number of times. To reach the Coffeys, you dialed a ___ a ___ and a ___. Erma used to dial a ___ and a ___ to reach her friend.

Erma went to Green Bay School, which had about twenty students, sometimes fewer, sometimes more, grades 1 through 8. Of course students studied English, Math, Language and more of the usual, but they also studied topics less familiar to us, such as weaving, darning, and cooking. They did not, however, teach classes on cleaning… “You were supposed to already know that,” Erma says with a laugh. While the girls studied that, the boys did woodworking.

Erma’s teacher at Green Bay was her brother Carl’s wife, Mary Coffey. She tutored Erma after school most days, mainly in math. Although Mary was very kind to her, this would never be Erma’s favorite memory.

Remember that Erma learned to darn socks under the direction of her Grandma Coffey (Malcena Barbre Coffey). That’s how she passed that class with flying colors in Green Bay School. As a matter of fact, she won a contest with her profound darning abilities – her darning looked like the original weave of the sock. “Erma Coffey, you just think you’re so special because you can darn socks!” her jealous classmates teased.

But that was not the only contest Erma would win…

In high school, the kids thought it would be fun to have a contest to see who had the nicest legs. The girls stood in a row on state, the curtain raised to their knees. The judges determined Erma’s legs the nicest, and she won a pair of silk stockings, the newest item on the market. Too embarrassed to tell Mother right away, Erma waited until the end of the year. Mother just shook her head and walked away, but as she turned, Erma saw a smile cross her face!

Erma worked at the hospital in Leon, Iowa, for about a year. She and Ed wrote back and forth the entire time – dreaming and planning their reunification.

During that year, Ed got a job with the New England Telephone and Telegraph Company, but was laid off before he could even begin working. He was re-hired some months later as an equipment installer. In the meantime, Ed kept busy at Sterling Manufacturer in Mansfield. One day, while Ed was standing near a freight elevator at Sterling, the doors opened and a metal beam crashed down on Ed’s head. Ed awoke to find himself in the hospital.

Erma told Ed that if Ed found her a job, she would move out East to be near him. Determined to see his sweetheart, Ed marched himself over to the nearest hospital – Sturdy Memorial – in Attleboro, Massachusetts, and asked for a job for his girlfriend. When he told the head nurse that Erma was a registered nurse, she said that Erma certainly had a job there at Sturdy.

In January of 1947, Erma was finally able to move out East.

Erma’s older sister, Opal, told her that she was “crazy to chase a man like she was.” Erma had her own doubts, and a train ride leaves you plenty of time to think. In Des Moines, Iowa, Erma boarded a train and headed east. Well, by the time she got to New York, Erma almost turned around and headed home. But before she knew it Erma found herself in Boston. At the Mansfield train station, Ed and his family greeted Erma.

A week after arriving, Erma began working at the hospital. She lived in the nurse’s home near Sturdy and spent the weekends with the Clare family. Each weekend Ed would pick up Erma and bring her to his family’s house for the day. Each time he picked up Erma and brought her back to the hospital, Ed would take her out for ice cream at the Dairy.

Ed and Erma spent a lot of time with the family, so privacy was not easy to find. One afternoon Ed brought Erma for a walk. He took her by the hand and led her into the kitchen where they could be alone.

Then Ed asked Erma to marry him.

Erma gladly accepted his proposal and the wedding plans began. Ed’s whole family was thrilled, particularly Peg. Peg knew that Ed had bought the ring and could hardly wait to have Erma as a sister-in-law!

CENSUS SUMMARY:

CENSUS 1940: Erma Coffey / b: abt 1912 in IA / Lodger / Living in Kansas City, Jackson, Missouri

CENSUS 1930: Erma Coffey / b: abt 1911 in IA / Dau / Living in Clay, Wayne, Iowa

CENSUS 1920: Erma Coffey / b: abt 1911 in IA / Dau / Living in Clay, Wayne, Iowa

Spouses

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1: Edwin Earl CLARE Jr.

Birth: 20 Jan 1921 Providence, RI

Death: 24 Jun 2004

Marriage: 5 Jul 1947 Mansfield, MA

Children:

Edwin Earl CLARE Jr. (20 Jan 1921 - 24 Jun 2004) & Erma Ellen COFFEY (20 Jan 1911 - )

Edwin Earl CLARE III (29 Mar 1948 – 2 Mar 2016) & Jane Kay BABLO (25 Aug 1951 - )

FOLLOWING FROM ED’S FUNERAL SERVICE:

“Pop was born in Providence and lived his first few years in Brighton, MA. Dad grew up in West Mansfield and graduated from Mansfield High in 1939. Uncle Ed joined the Army in 1942. Before his deployment in Africa, he met Erma Coffey at a USO dance in Kansas City. Since neither danced, they met and got along very well. He walked her to the drugstore for a Coca Cola and then home to the nurses’ residence. He had been such a gentleman that Erma planted a kiss on his cheek. Grandpa was a “goner”.

They corresponded while he was away in Africa. When he returned from his tour, he sent for his “Kansas City Kitten.” She came to meet his family - particularly his mother who feared she was a “gold digger”. As it turned out she was a “Golden Nugget”. Mom and Dad were married on July 5, 1947. Baby Earl came along one year later. Being very close to Ed’s sister and her family, they spent every weekend together with the Durbanos. After the passing of their parents, the Durbano kids became the inherited family. At age 55, Uncle Ed became the father of “the Durbano Bunch” and half the town of Mansfield knows him as Uncle Ed.

There were many close calls with death in Ed’s life. As a young child, his foot was stuck in the train tracks as a train was approaching. Then, there was the ruptured appendix in elementary school. In Africa, he narrowly escaped plunging into a crevice as their jeep sped over the sand dunes. Just after coming out from under a military aircraft that he was repairing, the landing gear collapsed, missing Grandpa by mere inches. God protected Grandpa, knowing that his mission was not yet completed. There were still many joyous years that Ed would share with his entire family. God blessed Pop with many ears of memories that we all will cherish. What a blessing it is to have been a part of his long and fully-lived life!”

FOLLOWING ARE SOME NOTES THAT ED WROTE DURING HIS LIFE:

Memories

“ It was like this:”

Have you ever sat down and thought of how things have changed during your life? I have, so I have written down some things that have changed. What I have written has never made history, nor ever will, but may be interesting reading.

I will move over. Sit down beside me and we will see how my things have changed in comparison to yours. I think more things have changed during my life span than during any other same length of time.

When I was about eight years old, dad came home from work one night and said we were going to go to Indiana for our two-week vacation. In those days there were few paved roads. Can you imagine traveling to Indiana on a dirt road now? Instead of maps and route numbers they had what they called a blue book. Why I don’t know. You would take this book and it would say turn left or right at some marking like a white church or train station, etc. You would go from one town to the next following these landmarks.

Prices:

I remember one of our favorite means of entertainment. We would take the train to Attleboro, have fish and chips for supper and go to the movies after that. Dad would say “we will have to cut this out because of the cost. “ 10¢ for fish, 10¢ for chips, 25¢ per adult and 10¢ per child for movies. There were four of us. That was 80¢ for supper and 70¢ for a show. An evening for four all for $1.50.

One of my favorite pastimes was watching the basket shop next door. They would bring a wagonload of logs and the men would split them in to pieces 5 or 6 inches in diameter and about 6 feet long. These logs were oak and I believe they had to be grown near a certain brand of pine trees. After they were split they were put in a long box and steamed. Next they were put on a workbench and stripped into thin paper-like strips with a powered drawknife. This knife was pulled down the stick by a belt hitched to a motor. The next step was to weave them into baskets.

(NOTE: Additional chapters of Ed's writing are available in the "Coffey Scrapbook" CD.)

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